Nervous System Regulation: Managing Stress and Anxiety

Stress, Anxiety and the Nervous System

Stress is healthy! It’s a normal physiological response to a situation that involves change or challenge. The nervous system responds typically with a ‘fight’ or ‘flight’ response. We stand our ground, or we run away. In an ideal world we then go back to a calm state until the next stressor comes along. However in today’s fast paced word there often isn’t time for our nervous system to recover before there is another stressor. This problem in extreme circumstances can lead to burnout.

By contrast anxiety however is created by thoughts in the mind. An anxious person has lots of negative thoughts and feels unable to control or manage their own thoughts.

Although stress and anxiety have different causes the symptoms are often similar. Symptoms of both are very individual. Some people eat more. Others stop eating. Some people don’t sleep, others sleep all the time. And so on.

The job of the nervous system is to process the stressors and get you back to a state of calm. This state is often referred to as the ‘rest and digest’ mode. It is also a survival response. You would not be able to survive if you were always stressed or anxious. You need to have some time for your body to do regular things – like digesting your food, like healing from an illness, like sleeping and exercising.

What are the signs of a dysregulated nervous system?

We are all different, but if you are feeling something is a bit ‘off.’ Often people around you will see that your nervous system is dysregulated before you do. You might be short with them, or irritable for example.

Here are some common symptoms:

Physical symptoms

Increased heart rate, shallow breathing, digestive discomfort, muscle tightness, change in sleep patterns.

Emotional symptoms

Behaving out of character, easily irritated, experiencing mood swings, or having trouble focusing.

Behavioural symptoms

Numbing strategies, such as zooming out on Netflix or social media. Coping mechanisms such as excessive use of alcohol or other substances, change in eating patterns. Avoiding people or responsibilities.

If you are experiencing any of these symptoms it is important to take steps to address the situation. If you are feeling stress from a challenging relationship you may need to step away for a while. If work is causing the stress you may want to review the situation with your line manager. However it is also possible to address the symptoms on the spot by regulating your nervous system.

The nervous system is controlled by the vagus nerve. This nerve also known as the wandering nerve has nerve endings in many parts of the body. They are found especially the head and face, ears, cheeks, back of the head , heart, and lungs etc.

Practical Techniques for Regulating the Nervous System

There are several methods that help you regulate your nervous system using polyvagal toning. Other ways to calm down the nervous system include anything that brings you into the present moment.

Examples include:

Orientation to the space around you – you can look out the window, check out the environment you are in.
Focus on your breathing.
Notice the weight of your body on whatever is underneath you.
Touching an object, or another part of your body and notice the contact between your body and the ground.
Connection to something that is larger than you are. This could be reminding yourself of people who are important to you, a sense of connection to place or to a source of spiritual inspiration.
Reminding yourself of things and people you are grateful for. If you are feeling anxious about something, you can remind yourself of other areas in your life. Areas where things might be going better. This can usually help to keep things in perspective. If you are struggling to find gratitude you can start with basics such as your life , food that you ate, the roof over your head etc,
Show yourself some compassion. Evidently you are facing something challenging that is causing stress or anxiety – so give yourself a break. You are probably handling the situation as best you can.
Move your body! Stretch and find expansive postures to bring back confidence in yourself.

Lifestyle Factors Supporting Nervous System Regulation

In addition to the above methods a healthy lifestyle is also very important. Here are some suggestions:

Make sure you get enough sleep. If the stress is preventing, you sleeping here are some things you could try.
Listen to Delta Brain wave music. This will put your brain into a restful state even if you don’t actually sleep.
Use Lavender oil. You can put some on your pillow, you can also put some on the soles of your feet before you go to bed.
Take magnesium supplements before you go to bed – ideally.
Do something relaxing before you sleep and avoid social media in the hour before you to bed.
Eat healthy and keep your body hydrated. Don’t eat anything 2 hours before you sleep.
Do some physical activity and do it mindfully. It doesn’t really matter whether its walking, running, playing a team sport or yoga. What matters to your nervous system is that you do it mindfully and you notice what you are experiencing in your body.
If you are struggling, talk to someone, and ask for a hug when you need one! Because the vagus nerve has so many connections in the head, face and ears, the nervous system calms down and you can co regulate with another person through social connection.

When to Seek Professional Help

The above strategies can support many situations however there may be cases when you will need to get some professional help be it therapy, medication, coaching or other support.

You should consider seeking help if:

Anxiety significantly impacts your daily life, relationships, or work.
You experience panic attacks or persistent intrusive thoughts.
You struggle with sleep disturbances, chronic fatigue, or unexplained physical symptoms.
You have difficulty managing stress despite trying various techniques.

Professional options include therapy, coaching, or medical interventions when needed.

Contact me

My work in organisations provides an overview of why and how to help you and the team calm down. If you are worried about burnout in your organisations. I can help provide support to the team and address individual issues through coaching.